April 5, 2013

If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don’t be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning ‘Good Morning’ at total strangers.
~Maya Angelou

How often does this happen in your world? It is far too easy sometimes to take advantage of those who love us and expect them to take the brunt of our ill humor on any given day. I know I’ve been guilty of that many times. A strong feeling of regret and remorse always follows. The pressures of life become suddenly overwhelming and my surly attitude comes bursting out at my children while I keep my ‘happy face’ for the other people of the world I will encounter in a day.

My vision for our home is that we learn to live in harmony with each individual having permission to be who they are…live their authentic self. Not an easy task for any family! Now, this does not give me (or anyone else!) permission to demonstrate a cranky attitude by taking it out on anyone. As a result, we have all learned about what it means to be true to your self AND live in community. Actually, this is an ongoing lesson for us all! We are learning about understanding others and making accommodations. My daughters are learning how to co-exist with other personalities which prepares them for the variety of people they will encounter in this life. I love that they are learning these lessons while in the safe harbor of our home.

There was a family I knew growing up who had the policy that when children returned home from a sleepover they were not allowed to be irritable and hard to live with. It was understood that they would most likely be exhausted from lack of sleep, however, using that as an excuse to be unkind to others was not acceptable. Other family members were encouraged to make allowances for that and give understanding, such as, maybe not the best day to pick on that person, tease incessantly, etc… This worked well because each family member knew that they would get the same consideration when they needed it. At the ripe age of 8, this impressed me deeply and I knew I wanted my home to feel that way someday.

Family is precious. Just ask anyone who does not have one. It can be a challenge to live together and give each other the best we’ve got. And who else better to give our best to? While we share in the adventure of living and growing together…parents and children alike. What policies do you have in your home that allow each person to be his or her authentic self? If each family member was allowed to ask for one aspect of his or her personality to be accepted unconditionally, what would that be? Could be a great dinner conversation next time your family sits down to eat together 😉